It is a gorgeous July day. The sky a vibrant blue , the clouds fluffy white , the air warm with a perfect breeze. I am where I am on this beautiful day and for that I am grateful. Be in this day I remind myself, be present and allow the gifts of this one day to be enough. That is the philosophy I am attempting to embrace. In the recovery of my last year I have finally taken to heart truths I had been aware of and possibly even gave lip service too but never fully implemented. Many times a day I find myself reminding my brain to focus on this day only. The past I can not change, the future I can not control. It is this present day and my choice as to how I receive it that is all I have right now. Worry and guilt have been my constant companions and I am working hard to shed them both. In packing up my small space on Princess St and returning to the farm I have left many boxes unopened looking ahead to another move down the road (literally and figuratively)One of the boxes contains my journals and I have had to work through a bit of separation anxiety from them. I so often on a date spend time opening past journals and reading the entry from other years. A couple of times I have been tempted to search through the mess of packed boxes and containers I have stored in the bunkbed room so that I could have easy access to my many journals. I have stopped myself and this morning as I considered the topic of my blog entry it occurred to me that keeping them out of reach is a good exercise for staying in the present day. At this stage in my life there is a lot of water under the bridge. Seasons have come and gone with so many changes and adaptations. I am not opposed to looking back but sometimes the weight of it seems too much to carry into the present day. A lighter load seems better at this stage and while I treasure the past and anticipate the future, it is this day I celebrate. Now for a swim in my beautiful lake!
